Never Let Go
by Moonltwolf
Summary: Deans back, but somethings not quite right. They think of each other differently. Wincest warning. Don't like don't read.


They were sitting in a dark, dank, hotel room, just sitting, listening to each other's slow steady breathing. Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed, aimlessly playing with the pistil he was supposed to be clean. Dean was sitting on the chair with his legs pulled up on hid bed watching Sam.

It was so peaceful sitting there with Sam after all that had happened with Dean going to hell and all. He could still feel the pain of the fire burning his flesh strait to the bone; the feel of the knife tarring through flash of some poor living soul, there screams echoing off the walls. Dean jumped quickly jerking himself from the trance that he was just lost in. He turned away from Sam quickly not wanting Sam to see the flash of fear in his eyes.

"You ok?" Sam questioned looking over at his brother placing the pistil to his side on his bed.

"Yeah I'm fine just a chill," Dean voiced looking to his brother now watching him with soft eyes, lies dancing behind them, Sam was hiding something and it was clearly hidden behind the mask that Sam wore with too much ease. "What about you? The way that you check your phone it's as if you are waiting for a call of some sort." Smirking silently as he watched his brother shift uncomfortably, "Maybe a girl?"

"Dean don't go turning this around on me, you're the one that just came back from hell." Sam mentioned looking away toward the far end of the room. To be honest he was worried about Dean, he never flirted with girls as much and it was obvious that he would rather keep to himself rather than talk to anyone.

With that Dean shifted uncomfortably so that he could look up at the dark and dirty ceiling. He moved his hand up to his head pressing slightly against is eyes trying to hold back the memories that are threating to break loose from their mental cage; they came though all at once, the pain, smell, fire, burning, and screaming, it all came back, every time he closed his eyes. That was all he could think about, that and Sam. "I'm not going to talk about," not taking his hands of his eyes.

He hears Sam shifting around thinking that he was laying down, but as he started to hear banging. He opened his eyes, thinking that he was going to see his brother hitting the side of the bed in frustration, instead he sees him packing up his bag. "Sammy?" Dean asked looking over at his brother throwing stuff into the bag in anger.

"My name is Sam not Sammy!" Sam snapped throwing a glare over to his brother. "I'm tired of you always calling me Sammy all the time." Not quite sure why he snapped but he knew that he was not acting like his brother anymore, he was acting like a stranger, and strangers can't call him 'Sammy'.

"Sam, where did that come from?" Dean asked in shock at his brother's outburst. He knew Sam did not like to be called Sammy but he had never bothered to stop Dean anymore. It was as if Sam wasn't the same anymore, "Sammy what's the matter with you? You snap to easy and you're not acting like yourself."

"Don't call me Sammy!" He yelled throwing his shirt down into his bag glaring at his brother, his brother now standing up watching Sam with a worried expiration on his face. "My name is Sam; you have no right to get mad at me for being different when you can't even talk to me?" Sam grabbed his bag and headed toward the door. "you're the one who left Dean, not me." Pain now laced throw Sam voice as he blinked trying to hold tears that threatened fall from his eyes. "You're the one who didn't stay with me; I only changed because I didn't have my older brother to help me."

Dean was shocked by his brother's confession Sam was always the one who could handle things, this was his baby brother, the man that he practically raised. Despite being the younger one Sam was always stronger both physically and mentally. Sam was not one to look week even if it was in front of his brother. "Sammy?" Dean looked straight at him watching his brothers face change to anger the moment he registered the sympathy that was hidden in his voice. "Sammy come on put the bag down."

"Dean, no you were the one who left, you left me alone to face all those monsters that we have always faced together." Sam yelled tears now falling even though Dean could tell that Sam was holding them back. Sam dropped his bags to the floor rounding on his brother.

"Sammy I-"

"Save it, we both know that you are not sorry," Sam interrupted not trying to hide the anger of pain in his voice. "You'd make that deal again in a heartbeat if you knew it would save me." Sam grabbed his bag again and put his hand on the door.

"Sammy-"

"I'm leaving Dean," Sam sighed pulling his voice in a harder tone. "We are not a team anymore, Dean, I can't fight with you, and this fight against you is killing me."

"Fine, go, just at least take the car." Dean resolved, moving to grab his keys from the table, tossing them to Sam.

Sam was shocked by the way that Dean just let him go. Dean just got back and now he was not only giving is car up but not even trying to stop him from leaving. It was like Stanford all over again, Sam was leave and Dean wasn't even trying to get him to stay. It hurt, it hurt like hell, Sam had at least hoped that Dean would fight a little more than he did. "Dean?" Sam questioned, eyes clouding with pain. "Fine I get it, I'll go. Keep the damn car." Bitterness and anger pushing through his voice, he reached to the door going to leave the room.

Dean watched trying not to let his emotions get in the way. Sam was crying and he never did that; even worse Sam was hurt and it was Dean's fault. All he wanted to do was let his brother go where he thinks that he would be happy but his resolve was broken almost the same second Sam spoke. "Sammy wait," Dean started his only answer was Sam stopping and his body tensing, waiting for his brother to finish. "Don't leave, can't you see that I can't live without you."

"Dean?" Sam turned around meeting his brother's sad gaze with one of his own. "You're the one who sad that it's ok for me to leave," Sam's confusion evident on his face.

"I only said that because I never thought that you would actually leave." Dean pleaded looking out at his brother. "Sammy comes back inside please."

Sam was happy to do so though he was still confused by his brothers sudden turn around. The moment Sam shut the door behind him he turned around to look over at his brother as he dropped his bags to the floor. "Dean?"

"Sammy you're my baby brother," he started taking a step so that Sam was within arm's reach. "I can't lose you." Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "I just can't, your right I would make the deal again a thousand times over if it meant that I could spend even another day with you. I would face the fires of hell and all the pain just for you."

"Dean, you're the one who says 'no chick flick moments' what has gotten into you." Sam questioned reaching up to hold Dean's arm that was still on his shoulder. "Dean what-, "Sam started but never got the chance to finish because Dean leaned in to kiss him. Sam's eyes widen and body tenses trying to figure out what to do. "Dean-"Sam mumbled into Dean's mouth but Dean only deepened the kiss cutting him off again.

"I'm sorry Sammy," Dean leaned into his brother pushing him up against the door, looking straight into Sam's wet eye. "I'm not letting you go, you're my baby brother. I. Can. Not. No will not let you go again." Dean kissed Sam again this time Sam didn't bother to fight.

"You won't lose me, Dean, My big brother."

**Thank you for reading:**

**Mata Atode Aimashou**


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